Today is a day filled with so many emotions.
It's my oldest daughter’s birthday. It’s a day to celebrate the incredible woman she’s become, but this year, it feels different. She’s not just my little girl anymore - she’s about to become a mother herself. And she’s miles away from home, living a life that I always knew she was destined for but never felt ready to let her begin.
When she first told me she was moving away, I felt a tangle of emotions - pride, sadness, excitement, and loss, all fighting for space in my heart. You see, I raised her to be independent, to follow her dreams, to spread her wings and fly on her own. But when that moment came, when she actually took flight, I realized just how much I wanted to keep her close.
I’m not sure any parent is ever truly ready for that moment. The house feels quieter without her laughter, and some days I catch myself waiting for her to walk through the door. But then I think about the life she’s building, the legacy she’s continuing, and it brings me comfort. She’s carving her own path, just as I taught her. And now, with a baby on the way, she’s stepping into the most beautiful and challenging chapter of her life.
It’s hard to describe the mix of joy and longing that comes with watching your child start their own family. There’s joy in knowing that she’ll experience the depth of love that only a parent can understand. But there’s also a sense of longing, a quiet ache, because she’s no longer just my baby. She’s someone’s mother now.
As parents, our role shifts. We go from being the ones who hold their hands through every stumble to being the ones who cheer them on from a distance. And that’s okay. It’s what we’re meant to do. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy.
If you’re a parent going through something similar - maybe your child is moving away, starting a family, or simply stepping into a new phase of life - here’s advice to help navigate these bittersweet moments:
1. Anchor Yourself in Gratitude
When you’re overwhelmed by the sadness of letting go, take a moment to practice gratitude. Neuroscience shows that gratitude rewires our brains to focus on the positive.
Write down three things you’re grateful for about this new chapter in your child’s life. Maybe it’s the joy of seeing them grow, the hope for their future, or the privilege of watching them become who they’re meant to be.
2. Lean Into Connection
Your relationship with your child isn’t ending; it’s evolving. Make time for intentional connection, even if it’s virtual. A weekly phone call, a quick text, or a shared photo can release oxytocin - the bonding hormone - and strengthen your emotional connection, no matter the miles between you.
If your child doesn’t call as often as you’d like, resist the urge to take it personally. Instead, gently communicate your feelings without overstepping. Share how much those moments mean to you, and remember that their busyness doesn’t diminish their love for you.
3. Embrace Neuroplasticity
Your brain is capable of adapting to change, even when it feels uncomfortable. By intentionally focusing on the positive aspects of this transition and reminding yourself of the love and pride you feel, you’re helping your brain adjust to this new normal.
It takes time, but it’s possible.
4. Find a Purpose Beyond Parenting
When our children grow up and start their own lives, it’s a chance for us to rediscover ourselves. Engage in activities that bring you joy, deepen your relationships, or pursue a dream you’ve set aside. Your brain thrives on purpose and novelty, and this is your opportunity to grow alongside your child.
Today, as I celebrate my daughter’s birthday from afar, I’m reminded of the words I’ve always told her: Fly, but never forget where you came from. She’s taken that to heart. And while I miss her every day, I couldn’t be prouder of the life she’s building.
So here’s to my baby girl - the strong, beautiful, compassionate woman she’s become.
Happy Birthday, my love. Your wings are magnificent, and watching you soar is the greatest gift of all.
I'm letting you go (somewhat) to watch you soar.
How Do You Let Go For Them To Soar?
👉 Have you experienced the bittersweet emotions of letting your child spread their wings? I’d love to hear your story. Share how you navigated this transition, and let’s support each other in celebrating these beautiful, yet challenging, milestones in the comments below. You may be able to help someone out who is going through the same thing right now.
👉 For more parenting hacks and tips, follow me on social media HERE and check back each Tuesday for fresh content related to parenting.
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