My Battle with Cushing’s Disease

Before I retired from the military in 2019, while I was teaching at the United States Air Force Academy, I started noticing changes in my body that didn’t make sense. My reflection in the mirror was different - my face was rounder, my midsection thickened, and my skin felt fragile. But it wasn’t just my appearance; something deeper was shifting.

I was exhausted. Not the kind of tired that a nap or a strong cup of coffee could fix, but the type that sat heavy in my bones, making everything feel impossible. I had spent years pushing through the demands of military life, leading, teaching, and serving, so I was no stranger to exhaustion - but this was different.

I kept moving forward, forcing myself to believe it was just stress, just life, just me getting older. But deep down, I knew. Something was wrong.

I went to doctors. Some brushed it off as stress, others told me to “just lose weight.” No one saw what I felt - the fight happening inside my body. And I started to wonder if maybe I was just imagining it. But the symptoms kept getting worse. My emotions became erratic - anger, anxiety, deep sadness - all hitting without warning. My skin bruised easily. My muscles weakened. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t make it stop.

I was losing control over my own body, and no one seemed to care.

Living with Cushing’s Disease: The Hidden Battle

After pushing for answers, I finally got one: Cushing’s disease.

My body wasn’t just tired. It was under attack from the inside. A pituitary tumor - a small growth on my pituitary gland, located at the base of my brain - was overproducing cortisol, the stress hormone that, in normal amounts, helps the body respond to danger. But too much? It wreaks havoc.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The weight gain that wouldn’t budge, the fatigue that never lifted, the emotional rollercoaster I couldn’t control - it was all because my body was drowning in cortisol.

But knowing what was wrong was only the beginning.

A Failed Surgery and a Harder Road Ahead

I was relieved to have a diagnosis, thinking, Now I can fix this. But my first surgery, performed locally, failed. The tumor wasn’t removed, and my symptoms persisted.

I can’t even put into words how devastating that was. I had put all my hope into that surgery, believing it would give me my life back. But instead, I was back at square one, exhausted, sick, and feeling like my body was a prison.

That’s the thing about illness - people assume that once you get diagnosed, there’s a clear path to healing. But the reality is much messier. There are setbacks. There is frustration.

There are moments when you wonder if you’ll ever feel like yourself again.

But I refused to give up.

I turned to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, where I underwent a second surgery. This time, it was successful. The tumor was gone.

But the battle wasn’t over.

From Too Much Cortisol to Not Enough

After my body had spent years being flooded with cortisol, suddenly, it had none. I went from Cushing’s disease to adrenal insufficiency - a condition where my body doesn’t produce enough cortisol on its own. Now, instead of an overactive system, I have low cortisol levels, which means constant fatigue, dizziness, muscle weakness, and an exhaustion that feels never-ending.

I had spent years with my body in overdrive. Now, it felt like I had no gas left at all.

And yet, I was expected to just… move on.

Doctors told me I should be relieved, that the tumor was gone. But the truth is, I had to completely relearn how to live in my body. Everything was different, and sometimes I questioned who I was anymore.

What No One Tells You About Recovery

People love stories of overcoming. They love the dramatic before-and-after moments - the kind where someone goes through something terrible and then emerges stronger, healthier, and happier.

But healing? Healing is not a straight line.

If you’re going through Cushing’s disease, another chronic illness, or any life-altering struggle, here’s what I want you to know - the things no one told me:

1. You will grieve the person you used to be. And that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend you’re fine. You don’t have to force yourself to “be grateful” for a body that doesn’t feel like yours. Feel it all. Mourn what was lost. But don’t stay there.

   
   

2. Advocate for yourself. I can’t stress this enough. Doctors don’t always listen the first time. Or the second. Push. Demand answers. You are not being difficult - you are fighting for your life.

   
   

3. Some people won’t understand. They’ll say, But you don’t look sick. Or, You’re better now, right? And it will hurt. But you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone who doesn’t take the time to understand.

   
   

4. Your body is not your enemy. It may feel like it is. I know mine did. But your body is trying - it’s fighting for you. Speak to it with kindness.

   
   

5. Rest is not weakness. In a world that glorifies pushing through, listening to your body can feel like failure. It’s not. Rest when you need to. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

   
   

6. Healing can be lonely, but you are not alone. There are others who understand - who have walked this road and felt the same frustration, the same fear, the same exhaustion. Find them.

   
   

7. You are more than your illness. You are not just a patient. You are still you - even if you’re different now. And you still have a life to live.

   
   

Coming Soon: My Story in a Book

This experience changed everything for me, and I know I’m not alone. That’s why I’m writing a book - to share what it was really like, what I wish I had known, and what I hope will help someone else going through something similar. If you want to be the first to hear about its release, stay connected.

If you’re in the middle of your own battle - whether it’s Cushing’s disease, low cortisol, or something else entirely - I want you to know this:

You are not alone.

I see you. I get it. And no matter how tired, frustrated, or defeated you feel right now, you are still here.

And that means... your story isn’t over yet.

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👉 Struggling to reclaim your life after a diagnosis or major life change? Healing is hard and as a certified life and communication coach, I can help you find clarity, confidence, and alignment - even when life feels overwhelming.

📅 Book a free consultation today and take the first step toward a life that feels like yours again.

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