Have you ever found yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re anything but? Same here. Inspired by Mel Robbins’ book Stop Saying You’re Fine, I wanted to share a personal realization: I used to be the “I’m fine” hero.
Someone could step on my foot, and I’d smile through the pain with a cheerful, “I’m fine!” Balancing way too much? Barely holding it together? You guessed it - “I’m fine!” Because in my mind, heroes didn’t show struggle. But here’s the truth: this “I’m fine” act doesn’t make us stronger - it keeps us stuck.
Why “I’m Fine” Keeps You Stuck
Every time we say “I’m fine” instead of addressing our true feelings or needs, we’re reinforcing a brain pattern that avoids vulnerability. Here’s the neuroscience behind it:
Your amygdala, the brain’s fear center, kicks into gear whenever discomfort arises. It’s designed to protect you, even when the “danger” is something as simple as asking for help.
By defaulting to “I’m fine,” your brain stays in a comfort zone, avoiding the potential discomfort of honesty or vulnerability.
Over time, this pattern teaches your brain to view being open about your struggles as a threat, preventing growth and genuine fulfillment.
It’s like being stuck on a loop, unable to step into the growth and connection waiting on the other side. And honestly? That’s exhausting!
3 Ways to Break the “I’m Fine” Habit
Ready to try something new? Here are three simple steps to stop saying “I’m fine” and start stepping into your authentic self:
1. Identify Your “I’m Fine” Zone
Think about one area in your life where you’re playing the hero and saying “I’m fine” when you’re not. Be specific - is it work, family, friendships, or personal projects? Write it down. Naming the area brings clarity and helps you see where you need change.
2. Take a Small, Real Step
You don’t have to tackle everything at once. Instead, find one small action that reflects your actual needs. Maybe it’s reaching out for help, setting a boundary, or saying no to something that’s weighing you down.
Small steps send a powerful message to your brain: it’s safe to honor your needs. Over time, these small actions build momentum for bigger changes.
3. Swap “I’m Fine” for a New Phrase
Next time you’re tempted to say “I’m fine,” try something more honest, like:
“I’m working on it.”
“I could use some support.”
“I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”
This small shift tells your brain that being authentic is okay. Slowly, you’ll create a foundation for genuine confidence and growth.
Letting Go of the Mask - Stop Saying 'I'm Fine'
Are you ready to set aside your “I’m fine” cape? It’s time to step into a version of yourself that’s authentic, honest, and open to growth.
What’s Next?
👉 I’d love to hear from you! What’s one area in your life where you’re letting go of the “I’m fine” mask? Drop me an email or share your thoughts in the comments below. And if this message resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need it too.
Here’s to being real, not perfect,
Dr. Renea
P.S. Want to stay connected? Follow me on social media for more tips and insights HERE!
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