Have you ever felt like certain emotions - whether it’s
excitement, frustration, or that “why did I say that?” embarrassment - seem to stick around much longer than you’d like? Here’s something surprising: most emotions are naturally short-lived, typically lasting about 90 seconds.
Yes, you read that right. Your brain processes emotions quickly, like a wave that rises and falls. After those first 90 seconds, it’s usually you keeping the feeling alive by replaying scenarios with every “what if” and “I shouldn’t have…”
Why Emotions Linger
When I was in the military, I learned to compartmentalize my emotions to stay focused. In high-stakes situations, I couldn’t afford distractions, so I’d set feelings aside and not come back to them later. Sound familiar?
This isn’t just a military thing - it’s something many people do every day. We tuck emotions away, hoping they’ll disappear, only to find they come back at inconvenient times, often stronger than before.
Here’s the truth: ignoring or suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just stores them up, creating a pressure cooker that can lead to stress, frustration, or even burnout.
The Key to Emotional Release
Instead of suppressing or overanalyzing your feelings, try this: acknowledge the emotion, name it, and let it be. When you acknowledge emotions, you give them space to settle naturally instead of letting them control you.
How to Process Emotions: The Power of Labeling
Label the emotion out loud.
Research shows that naming your emotions - saying something like “I feel tense” or “I feel uncertain” - actually reduces their intensity. Why? When you name your emotions, it helps your brain create just enough distance to process them rationally, like giving the emotion its own “quiet corner” rather than letting it run the show.
Boost Your Emotional Vocabulary
As you practice labeling your emotions, you’re also building your emotional vocabulary. This might seem small, but it’s like upgrading from a black-and-white TV to full color. For example, instead of just saying, “I’m angry,” you might discover a more specific term like “irritated” or “overwhelmed.” Finding the right words helps you pinpoint what’s really going on and respond to your emotions more effectively. Plus, it’s a great way to regulate how you feel in the moment.
So How Long Do Emotions Last?
90 seconds.
Your Challenge: Try It This Week
➡️ For the next week, practice labeling your emotions. When you feel something rising up, pause and name it out loud - no judgment, just curiosity.
➡️ Then, let me know how it’s going! Did you notice your emotions fading more quickly? Did you discover a new “favorite” feeling word? I’d love to hear about your experience so leave a comment!
Yours in growth,
Dr. Renea
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